Age Dose Matters...

It was long ago, that my mom used to come running when i fell and scratched my knee. My dad worried when i came with the swelling below my eye, as i had a fight with someone. They used to make me feel that i am the best, over every small reason. I remember all the little things they did to me, to make me happy.

but the times have changed, as i have grown 23. the days are gone, when mom used to come and wake me up with different names given to me at that very instant. now she just comes into the room and yells that I'm already late for my office. she no longer asks me as to what will i like to have for lunch or dinner. i agree, she knows my fav. dishes already, but then too, it feels good when someone, specially your mom cooks something you want to eat that day. Dad is least bothered as to what i keep doing whole day on the net or on phone or at office. its just he asks me as to how my day was, and i reply the same saying, the day was good. once in a blue moon he asks about what exactly i am working on, and i reply with utmost boredom, as if i am not bit int rested in what i do at office.

i cant get a clue, as to when and where it changed, but i am sure, it wont have happened suddenly over a day. may be i was too busy with some stupid activity of mine to observe these little details. may be i was crazy for some girl, or might be i was too involved with newly made friends in college n school. i don't know and i never felt it till past few months. i felt it one day all of a sudden, when my mom told me that i am too old to sleep with my lap in her head. i never knew that age would play its role so bad in my life.

i sometimes feel like just lying down, with my head in my mom's lap, closing eyes, she caressing me, running her fingers through my hair, and i just forget the entire mean world, and try to sleep the most silent sleep i had in my recent past. i wish to let her know what all i feel about things going on around me, actions and people bothering me, activities i am int rested in, i just want to talk my heart n soul to her.

i wish someday i could tell my dad everything i go through the entire day, every thought that comes to m mind about what i want to be in future and what i want to do, or i am planning to start with. i want him to be my best friend, and let him know about the girl i love more than i have ever loved anyone in my life.

why do i sometimes feel that i should have had an elder brother or sister, with whom i could have shared a lot of talks. why do i feel the need of someone sometimes to understand me, to understand what i want in life. why do i feel, that i need someone who can just lend me his/her ear, and listen to all i have to say, without saying a word. is it that, we are running short of time? or is it, we don't have time for what SHIT i am telling now. may be, mom thinks i am too old to do such silly things. Dad might feel not great, when he himself is facing a lot these days. or is it just my perception, that i don't want to seem stupid, idiotic, non-sensible in front of all. i don't want my mom to think, that i am still a small baby,wishing his mother to take care of his everything. i don't want my father to see me as a complete looser, nor i want him to think of me as a desperate, who wants a girl in his life.

but i really feel that things change with the age. i just hope sometimes, i should have never grown this old. but then again i think, its my time to prove myself. its my time to let my parents know that they have given birth to a brave boy. i want my shoulders to be strong enough to bear all the load in life. i want to prove myself as he best kid the parents an ever have and i am ready to face anything and everything for this.